Mind Your Language


I’m a stickler for standards. I watch my p’s and q’s –

And every other letter of the language that we use.


You might call me pedantic – I prefer the word precise.

I stand up for correctness. My distinctions are all nice.


Should you  imply, or should you infer?  Should it be fewer, should it be less?

I’ll be the one to point it out. I clean up linguistic mess.


Placing the apostrophe and spelling ‘desiccate’ –

Someone needs to make a stand before it’s all too late.


And when it comes to textspeak – of course I’ll never use it.

A guardian of our mother tongue could never so abuse it.


For me there are no acronyms, no crude abbreviations,

No emojis or contractions or suchlike deviations.


I always write my texts in full; they are models of precision.

And I will always make them so despite the world’s derision.


I once texted from holiday, writing properly on my phone

To ask my son how he was getting on as we’d left him home alone.


‘Unecessary text’ was his response, and I read his words aghast.

‘Two ‘n’s in ‘unnecessary’!’ My reply was firm and fast.


His equally quick reply lacked the gratitude of a thanker.

It was also about the letter ‘n’- ‘Only one in ‘wanker’!’